Attitude of Gratitude–Day 15–No Mud, No Lotus

It’s the worst days that make this gratitude practice the best.

You know, the days when you run your story of victimization and self-denigration over and over until you embolden your emotions and convince yourself of their truth? Yeah, those days. Today was that kind of day for me.

For a moment (or two..) I allowed myself to be overcome with frustration, to feel bad for myself and play the victim. A person can do this for a long time…hence the reason there is so much conflict in our world. However, I refuse to let my ego get the best of me by ruining my day with patterns of habitual negativity.

I knew that today, no matter what, I had to find something to be thankful for. I’ve committed to this practice, and so even on the toughest of days, I give thanks.

Today, in the midst of a very frustrating moment at work, I saw some payoff  from my gratitude practice. It was like a little reminder clicked in to tell me that out of the mud, a beautiful lotus could bloom — if I asked it to, of course.

And so this is what happened:

I took a breath.

I acknowledged my anger.

I went for a walk.

I had a quick cry.

And I then I asked what I could be grateful for.

It was then that I saw the support of my friends, my team, my boss. I saw the opportunity for me to practice patience and listening and communication. I saw how I would do things differently in the future. And I saw an opportunity to grow as both a manager and a human being.

So today I am grateful for the benefits of this practice and to be developing a reflex for gratitude. Gratitude always shows me that I am the one in control of my well-being. If I want to change something from negative to positive, all I need to do is accept my present state, honor it, give thanks and see the light.

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2 thoughts on “Attitude of Gratitude–Day 15–No Mud, No Lotus

  1. asdfasd says:

    Hello, you don’t know me, but I’ve stumbled on your blog and read many entries. I have an observation for you from an outsider’s perspective (perhaps getting an outside perspective is what you need to see things clearly).
    From repeated posts I’ve read, the underlying thing I’m sensing is that your job sounds like it is making you incredibly and deeply unhappy. You wrote about your neck locking up to the point you couldn’t move it, the extreme stress you are under and in this entry you wrote about literally crying at work. I realize you view it as your “career” but is that the kind of career you want – one where you are mentally and physically breaking down? Life is too short to be angry and upset and stressed over a job. You write repeatedly about how lonely you feel there. Why on earth would you stay there??? Your body is repeatedly telling you over and over again to get yourself out of there. If you truly are into taking care of yourself as you seem to intend to be, I think the first change you need to make is to leave that toxic environment. Crying at work over ANYTHING is your body telling you to get out of that situation. I realize you want to see the bright side of things, but there are times when you need to stop pushing yourself to meet the expectations of a corporation and to actually listen to the signals your body is giving you.

    • lizguerra says:

      Hi, it’s been some months since I read your comment. I was astounded to see that someone would interpret my blog and reach out anonymously. And while it was a striking moment when I saw this, I’ve ruminated long and on hard on your words. Thank you for being the catalyst for change. I’m still in the thick of it all, but I agree with many of the things you pointed out, namely that life is too short to be unhappy. I will continue to be grateful for this opportunity and for the people that I’ve met and the lessons that I’ve learned. I am where I am when I need to be there. All the best, Liz

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