Tag Archives: emotions

Feeling All the Feels– A Subjective Analysis of Why We (I) Cry

The science of crying is fascinating, and there is a lot of research behind the mechanics of our tears. We cry to protect our eyeballz as well as to regulate an overwhelmed nervous system.  The kind of crying I want to talk about here is not so much the I’m-cutting-onions cry or the I’ve-got-a-piece-of-lint-in-my-eye cry but rather, the I’m-so-overwhelmed-with-emotion-I-need-to-ugly-cry cry.

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It’s a well known fact amongst those who know me that I unabashedly let my salty tears flow. I wear them proudly, my mascara bleeding down my face, my face red and blotchy, my eyes puffy and swollen. What isn’t so well known, however, are the reasons behind these tears…

…so let me flush out a few of my fave tear jerkers: 

The I’m-so-grateful cry:  An overwhelming sense of gratitude for a person, place or thing will get this type of tear flowing for me. Nothing feels quite as good as the I’m-so-grateful cry because it signals to my brain how much abundance I have generated. This direct link between gratitude and abundance is most advantageous for those who wish to manifest even more things to be grateful for into their lives. By focusing on your abundance you align your energy to attract more of the same.

The I’m-so-grateful cry is a fantastic indicator that you are on the fast track to a vastly abundant life. Simply put,  you are hard-wired this way, and this physical response is your body working hard for your success, so you don’t have to. Let these tears runneth over, cuz you’re #blessed.

The standing-on-top-of-a-mountain-one-with-nature cry: Another cry I am a big fan of. This cry comes from the overwhelming feeling that goes something along the lines of “Woah, I feel humbled by the magnitude and beauty of creation. How am I, in the grand scheme of it all, so small and insignificant and yet so uniquely a part of this?!”This mind blowing feeling and the consequential tear drops can be induced by a double rainbow (what does it mean?!) or the constellations in the night sky or standing beside the ocean or being high on a mountain top.

The reason I am a fan of these tears is their intuitive understanding that we are one with everything around us. They are a homecoming of sorts, a reminder. They signify to us the bigger picture and allow relief from our everyday woes and squabbles.

The empathy cry: This cry is an interesting one, and I’m not actually sure how common it is. Personally, I tend to cry when I am in the presence of others shedding their own tears. I conjure these tears as I do the passing of a yawn. If someone is opening up to me with their tears, there is a 99% chance that I will shed a few of my own, even if their pain has not triggered me in any way (that I am aware of in that moment).

I consider this cry one of my super powers. I don’t know why it happens to me, but I know it is directly linked to my life’s purpose–to help others help themselves. This kind of cry notifies others that they can trust me and be open with me. I will not judge their tears and I will provide a very safe space for them to find some catharsis.

Like all super powers, though, it is important to use them for good. Sharing a tear in empathy can be very helpful in helping people heal, however, crying too much can further trigger their stress and cause things to spiral out of hand. If you also have this super power, remember to check yourself before you wreck yourself (and another), aiight?

The broken-heart cry: For obvious reasons, I think it’s safe to say that I have a love/hate relationship with this cry. It’s the ugliest of ugly cries, and yet, in a twisted way, it feels so good.

Clearly the bruising of one’s ego from being dumped is different than, say, grieving the loss of a loved one. However, these reasons for a heartfelt sob can be lumped under the same category for scientific reasons, which I will attempt to explain (plagiarize) via multiple sketchy internet sources.

Some scientists believe that having a “good cry” can release toxins and waste products from your system, which is why we generally feel physically and emotionally better when we wring out your stress and/or grief in a good sob sesh.This kind of cry is very cathartic and supports our health and well-being, so I am a major proponent! Get it out of your body so that it doesn’t manifest into something more severe down the line.

The nostalgia cry (aka the transition cry aka the growth cry): Last but not least is the nostalgia cry. For me, this is generally linked with the gratitude cry, though it can also stand alone in its own bittersweet melancholy. The nostalgia cry is temporal and beckons fond memories that have or will soon come to pass.

This might be my most common cry as I am a being in constant motion. I cry during transitions because they are a time of great reflection for me. It is not so much the fear of the unknown or moving away from people who are dear to me–this is merely at the surface level. Deep down I know that the unknown thrills me to my core and I that I will forever be connected to those who matter most to me.

The reason I personally cry tears of nostalgia is because they are indicators of my amazing successes. They are my growth tears. The tears I invoke when my psyche wants me to recognize how far I have come, how much I’ve conquered. They are my own way of recognizing of my hard work–my blood, sweat and tears if you will. What’s more, the more profound the experience or lesson, the harder I will cry.

According to my own very un-scientific reasoning, this cry is also closely linked with the science of the broken-heart cry as it allows for a softening of the nervous system. With this kind of cry I induce a feeling of total relaxation. For a brief moment, I am able to relish the satisfaction of seeing something through to completion. This pause and time for reflection is ever so important before I begin the next leg of my ascent.

So let us embrace our tears so that we can relish our vast abundance, be a part of it all, change the world with our superhero powers, support our well-being and rejoice in our accomplishments.

Tissue anyone?

“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before–more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.” -Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

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Attitude of Gratitude — Day 12 : The Moon

Though I’ve previously posted about connection, I see fit for a bow of gratitude to today’s full moon and how it emphasizes connection in my life. As a Cancer, my ruling planet is the moon and when it is full my energy field is hyper sensitive on many levels. As the moon symbolizes many things, including femininity, fertility, emotions, maternity, sensitivity, memory, death, decay and connection, I often feel a strong pull to one or many of these symbols when she is baring her full form. As the waxing gibbous moon transitioned to her full form today, I began to connect and reconnect with friends both new and old.

From yesterday afternoon until late this afternoon I drew people in close like the gravitational pull of the earth draws the moon into orbit.

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It started yesterday in the afternoon when I met Ed and his son Jordan on the train into Manhattan. What could have been a very brief encounter as I asked for directions on the train platform, turned into an hour and a half long train ride and a subsequent exchange of contacts. As this exchange was taking place, a seemingly quiet stranger across the aisle of the train was drawn into our conversation.  She made a joking remark about me picking up strangers on the train and then asked if I wanted her business card too. My attitude, perhaps contrary to what we’re taught as young children is ALWAYS talk to strangers, because you never know what kind of beautiful addition they might give to your life. Thus, I quipped that if she had one, I would surely take it. As it turns out my new friend is a yoga teacher on Long Island and I now have a weeks worth of free classes at her studio, Always at Aum in Babylon. Big time win. New friends and free yoga…I like everything about that!

While yesterday was full of new connections, today was a day meant for reconnecting with some old friends. The morning started early in Brooklyn as I called one of my dear friends and former USF classmates, Allie. We met for coffee and talked, as only the two of us can, about our emotions–of which we have many. Our conversations are always very cathartic and we ended up lifting each other’s moods significantly. Following my java break with Allie, I met up with another USF classmate, Sarah. Sarah and I had multiple classes together in the International Studies major, but never had the opportunity to connect whilst in SF. She recently reached out to me via Linkedin, when she saw that I was living in New York. Today I met with an old face, and connected a story to it.  I’m genuinely excited to have her as a “new” friend here in New York. Following my hang out with Sarah, I met up with James and his girlfriend Anne. James is, perhaps one of the most influential human beings in my life. He was my inspiration for El Camino and a person, whom I was absolutely certain upon the first time we met each other, that our souls new each other in a past life. Being in his presence  always makes me feel like I am celebrating the very best things that life has to offer, and being around such a dynamic couple was the very best way to end my brief jaunt to the Big Apple this weekend.

Thus, today, I am very grateful to the moon for illuminating some beautiful connections in my life, both old and new.

Goodnight moon.

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